Sunday, May 1, 2011

fear not.

Fear-/fi(ə)r/

Verb: Be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening
Noun: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat

The other day, I watched one of the silliest movies ever. I should have known- rarely are scary movies worth your time. Most of the time, they end up being more comical than scary (Dawn of the Dead anyone?). Anyway, one of my best friends and I rented "Case 39" with high hopes of experiencing a cinematic thrill seeing as to how its two headliners are respectable Hollywood actors. Errr, wrong. Add an incredibly predictable plot (little doe-eyed girl possessed by a demon starts creepily killing people off) with hokey dialogue and twists (if you can even call it "twists") and you've got yourself a below average movie that's predictably dull at best.

But I'm a firm believer that nothing is irredeemable. (Am I? I think I just became one just now. Or realized that that's how I've always thought. Interesting.) And like all things, this movie had it's redeeming elements. I'll spare you the ho-hum details lest you think this movie is worth your time and skip right to my point.

Fear. It showed me fear.

Okay, not fear as in I was scared watching it. Okay, maybe a little at parts. But fear in a different way. In order to explain, I regrettably have to tell you some of the movie. In short, this kind-hearted, do-gooder, most likely a fan of the go-green movement social worker (yeah social work!) named Emily adopts a little girl as her own to save her from an abusive home. Aside: the girl is a demon seed. Literally. She might even be satan incarnate, I'm not sure. That's an important aside by the way.

Thirty minutes into the movie, people start dying. In weird ways. This little girl (i.e. Satan) finds out what people's worst fears are and then unleashes it on them. For example, this one guy reveals that he has a deadly fear of hornets. Cue hornets coming out of his eyes and ears and mouth all of 2 scenes later. Props to Bradley Cooper for a scene well-acted. No props for Ang and I for sticking with this movie all the way through. I told you- it was baaaaad. Anywho, the demon girl eventually finds out Emily's (the social worker and newly adopted mom) worst fear and makes it play out on her.

When Emily was a little girl, her mother (spoiler alert) purposely crashes the car they are driving. It was a very stormy day. Emily's mom dies; Em does not. So for the rest of her life, Emily carries this deep sense of abandonment from her mother and an ever present fear of driving in the rain. So where does she find herself years later? Driving through the nonstop rain, 18 wheelers coming straight at her, visions of her mom crashing their car vividly playing through her mind and demon seed girl by her side, yelling into her ear that this is all real. This all happens in a mater of 10 seconds. After all, it is a movie and they have to make at least the climax interesting. But when demon seed girl is screaming to Emily that this is her worst fear being played out, Emily suddenly has an epiphany and yells, "This isn't real!"

And she was right.

The 18-wheelers flying at her like bullets, the torrential rain, the visions of her mom- they were all illusions that demon seed girl had created to evoke fear in Emily. And it worked. For a while anyway.The second Emily yelled that none of it was real, the demon seed girl started panicking. Emily had no more fear. She wasn't afraid. And suddenly, demon seed girl had lost any bit of power over Emily that she once had. Emily disarmed satan's most powerful weapon against her: fear.

And it hit me, fear is the root of all my woes. Sure pride, too. But I think the two might be cosmically connected in a way. After all, if I was trusting in the One who made me and knows me and spoke all things into existence, I wouldn't fear- because I'd know it's not up to me or about me; it's about Him. Fear is ultimately rooted in pride. So I guess pride is the root of all evils. But that's not my point right this second.

My point is this: fear is a thief. An invisible thief but a thief nonetheless. And I think its invisibility makes it all the more effective. And you know who else is a thief? Satan himself. So it makes sense that his weapons against humanity are designed to steal joy, trust, and belief in the One who is Joy, who is fully trustworthy, and who is wholly pure, loving, and in control. He convinces us that we need to take matters into our own hands, that God isn't out for our good and thus we can't count on Him.

Fear is the root of my anxiety, my insecurity, my self-protectiveness thus my selfishness, my doubt, my unbelief, my despair, and my sorrow (and probably other stuff I can't remember right this second). And the worst part about it is that fear isn't even real- Satan is a master of trickery and illusion. Fear that I'll be alone the rest of my life, fear that the people I love will leave me, fear that I'm not enough, fear that Jesus' promises don't qualify for me specifically, anxiety about my future- all that is an illusion. Because the truth is that Jesus says He came to give me Life and Life to the full, that I have a rich inheritance in Him that can never be taken from me, that no good thing does He withhold from me, that He carries me close to His heart, that I am precious and honored in His sight, that I don't have to fight this battle alone because the battle is His and not mine, that I can never be plucked from the hand of the One who loves me and has fought off the powers of hell for me, that those who fear God alone lack nothing, that all things work together for my good, that perfect Love drives out all fear, and that I will never, ever be alone because He will never, ever leave me.

Those promises are truth. Anything to the contrary is a lie.

So why do I fear so much and so often?

I mean, all of it makes sense- Satan came to steal my life; Jesus came to give me life. I want to choose to believe that. Just like the trucks and memories that flooded into Em's vision as she was driving her car were designed to distract and derail her and ultimately kill her, so are the lies and illusions Satan throws at me, at everyone. And the only way to stop buying into all the lies isn't to necessarily stop having fear all together- it's to have fear of the right One. And to let His love dispel my fears.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Psalm 111:10
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18

The only power Satan has is the power God allows him to have. And the good news for people that belong to Jesus is that God turns what Satan means for evil into good, for His glory and our joy. So the moral of all this is to say, I want to heed the Bible's most frequent command: fear not. God tells me 'do not be afraid.' Alright. I have nothing to fear because if God is for me, then who can stand against? I want to fear God and Him alone. His love is strong and has the power and willingness to dispel all my fears. Every last one until I fear only Him.

Oh, and that even crappy movies can be redeeming.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

oh, life changes.

I've always said I like change.

I've based that assessment of myself solely on my decision to attend college out-of-state at a university where I didn't know anyone and I felt like my world would be rocked with new things and well, change. That and the fact that I like having a hint of spontaneity in my life always made me believe that I am an anomaly to the majority of the world and that I like change. People always say they hate change. So it always seemed cooler to me to claim to like it. And honestly, I thought I did.

But the older I get, the more I think I hate change. A lot actually.

Granted going out-of-state was a huge decision and it ain’t no small thing that I jumped next door to the state of Georgia to pursue my higher ed and left pretty much everyone I knew behind. But let’s be real, that was the safest change I could have made. Everyone was a part of it; everyone was changing. College by sheer definition does that to you. It would have been change to not go to college, to not leave home and go off on my own. Sure I went a tad bit farther than most of my closest friends but not really. As unknown as UGA was for me, it was pretty known in a lot of ways. I knew that for at least 4 years I would be in college. And for someone who doesn’t really think past today, that was enough for me.

But now that I’m in grad school and I’m watching life change daily around me and in me, I don’t have a clue what’s happening and I can’t lie, I don’t think I love it. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. In a year and a half, I could be anywhere in the world. Literally, anywhere.

In the last 5 years, I’ve met the most beautiful people in the world. I’m convinced. Athens has won my heart because of the people I’ve met here. And the Lord knew that when he wrote my story and when I nonchalantly decided to commit to UGA.

And now, I don’t know what’s happening next. And I really don’t need to because I still have a year and a half of grad school left. But even if I didn’t have that time left, I still don’t really need to know what’s happening next. He knows. He always knows.

And despite the fact that life is always changing around me, people are coming and going (and staying) and I feel like I’m constantly changing, He’s not doing any of that. Besides the staying part. I love that. I think, actually I know that my most favorite promise God has made to His people and to me is this: that He will never leave you; He will never forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Another version says He’ll never fail or abandon me. I’m never alone. He doesn’t change. Ever.

As I watch my friends and the people I love date and marry and get real people jobs and have babies and move all over the world, it’s so neat. Life’s happening. Love’s happening. Jesus is alive and He’s happening. But that also means things are changing. And if I’m honest, I don’t always love it. Change sucks sometimes. Mostly all the time. It sucks because it's hard, not because it's not beautiful and worthwhile.

It’s also so exciting. And a reminder to me that I’m not in control. Ever. I thought I was and think I am. But it’s all an illusion. I don’t even control whether I take my next breath. How arrogant I am to think I can control my life, especially my God.

So yeah, I just realized this semester that I don’t love change. There’s a reason that’s popular opinion. I’m going to quit trying to buck the system just for the sake of being different. That doesn’t do a whole lot. But just because I don’t love it doesn’t mean it isn’t good and necessary. I think change is one of God’s tools in my life to remind me that He’s in control, not me. And that when everything around me is changing and when I hardly recognize what’s going on inside me, He’s still the same. He’s the Rock that life is meant to be built on. And He will always be.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Jesus is my Hope.

There's absolutely no question I feel things. A lot. I'm like the girl in the movie Mean Girls who doesn't even go to their school but 'has a lot of feelings' so she tries to join in on their group therapy session. I feel for her. I wish I didn't have as many feelings as I do. Or at the very least, that I didn't have as many thoughts as I have and then have feelings about each of those thoughts. Actually, I'm not convinced I mean that. I just think it'd be great to be the person that took truth at its word or the person who didn't get deflated like a balloon when something went awry in my day. Really it'd be great to just get a grip on my heart, which happens to be the most fickle and deceitful thing about me.

But today (I'm probably going on feeling, but that's the thing... my feelings feel so real to me but despite how off they may be, God still meets me in them), today I'm convinced that my heart isn't just the most convoluted, confusing thing about me. I'm convinced it's the best thing about me. Why? Because it's what God wants the very most. A God that could have and in fact does have everything, who controls the universe at the power of a single word, says to me that He wants my heart. Not as it should be, could be or will be, but as it is. That makes it valuable. Wow. That's great news to me, a girl who for some reason can't understand that my life has value based solely on who I am and not on what I do. I mean, that's a pretty hard concept to grasp I think for anyone. I happen to not be great at it. But that's besides the point.

The point is, that God says to love Him with "all my heart, all my strength, all my soul, and all my mind." That always throws me for a loop. Mainly because I never even get past the first part. How do you love a Holy God, who happens to be Perfect and in love with you and who tells you His ways are higher than your ways and His thoughts are higher than your thoughts, how do you love Him well? Or really at all? I have a lot of thoughts and feelings on the topic (none conclusive). But the part that gets me is that He doesn't ask you to love Him with your life. Or with your time. Or with your money. Or with your words. Or with anything tangible really. He asks for your heart. That blows my mind. But at the same time makes perfect sense. Because it's possible to give your life to something without actually giving your heart. People do it all the time. You can marry someone and spend your life with them and your heart belong to someone else. Or you can give all your time to a job that means nothing to you. You can write a check to an organization that has no piece of your affection. You can compliment someone and not mean a word of it. It happens all the time. But if you give your heart to something, the rest just happens. You can't give your heart to something and NOT give your life, your words, your time, your money, your energy and everything else about you. So it's clever what God does (when's He not clever, you know?) to ask for your heart. With that, He gets everything else.

That's why I think I don't hate that I'm such a heart driven person. And you can't fake giving your heart to someone or something. Not for long anyway. You can't make your heart do what it doesn't want to do, feel what it doesn't want to feel. People write love songs about it all the time, and I know it's true. You can't muster affection for something or someone. Not even for God. And to Him, that's okay. He knows that our hearts are weak, frail, and fickle. And He has a great antidote for it...

"Whom have I when my heart begins to fail?
When sorrow fills the streets and sounds of death prevail?
Jesus is my Hope."
-In Your Arms, Mandi Mapes

My heart failed yesterday. I mean big time. Really it fails a lot but yesterday I was convinced I would never get better. That my life was hopeless, purposeless, loveless, and valueless. I feel that sometimes but yesterday I felt that to the infinite degree of feeling that I've ever felt. My heart betrays me so often, yet Jesus is my Hope. Jesus is my Hope. And He wants me still. Even when my heart fails, God wants it. And He wants me. Because to Him, it's valuable. I really wished I believed that despite how I feel. And the fact that I just plain don't get it.

King David, a man whose emotions were as roller coastery as his walk with the Lord, was looked on with favor by the most High God and called a man after God's own heart. David knew of his God's love for him. And then had severe moments of amnesia, where his soul would turn downcast within him and he'd forget. To say I love David and the Psalms would be a gross understatement. The perk of being a feeler like me is that I love the things I love:) A whole lot. And I love David. And I love that God loves people like David. And like me. Whose hearts fail. Constantly. It's such a humbling reminder that I'm not kept my own love, but by His.

I'm in the process of being convinced that my heart and my life and just me are the most beautiful things and the things of most infiinte worth to the most beautiful, most infinitely worthy God. So little of that last sentence resonates within my soul yet. Good thing I'm in process:) And good thing that His love for me doesn't depend on my understanding of it.

"All this time I've wandered around searching for the things I'll never know
I've been searching for the answer that only will be found in Your love.
And I feel it, my heart is being mended by Your touch.
And I hear it, Your voice has shown my purpose in this world. "
-Restored, Jeremy Camp

Monday, December 20, 2010

awaken, o my soul.

I feel like blogging. I'm not sure about what. But I do. So I'm gonna. Here goes.

If I had blogged yesterday, this would have been a totally different blog post then it's going to be right now. Why? Because I feel like I'm changing everyday. Every moment I feel like a different person, like I'm experiencing a different thought, feeling, or emotion or different facet of life. I feel like I'm being awakened to something new constantly, a new way of thinking, of seeing the world, or of seeing a particular person, the Lord, life, or even myself. I love the word awaken. It might be my favorite word right now. By might I mean definitely. I think I love it so much because in it I find hope. In order to awaken something, the something has to already possess the ability to be awakened, to be stirred to consciousness. That seems like a no-brainer comment but I think that's important. You can know something but not be awakened to the reality or gravity of it. You're simply asleep. Webster defines awake as the following: 'to cease sleeping; to become aroused or active again; to become conscious or aware of something; to arouse from a sleeplike state." To me, to awaken something means to activate in someone something that it already has; awakening simply brings to life something that already exists. Let me explain.

I'd first like to draw attention to the picture to the left. Someone try to tell me this couple isn't awake. And I don't just mean physically (I'm not trying to insult anyone's intelligence by that question). This couple is awake to a bevy of emotions and thoughts and feelings. I love this picture a lot. I have no clue who this couple is. I found this picture on the internet once and saved it on my computer I liked it so much (Weird? Maybe. But Mary does the same thing so I feel okay about it). I've seen lots of pictures of couples in love but I like this one in particular because it happens to be in front of one of my faaaaavorite places on earth, the Fontana de Trevi in Rome. I can't help but feel alive when I'm there or when I look at a picture of this fountain. It's magical to me; it does something to my soul. All that to say, these people are awake and I love it. Watching someone embrace life sparks life in other people that is inevitably contagious.

Anyway, visuals always help me. But on to the word awake... If you're asleep it doesn't mean you don't exist; it just means you're not aware of what's going on around you. You can be in a room full of tons of people but if you're asleep, you may as well have not been there. You missed every conversation, interaction, joke, laugh, etc. You were asleep. I feel that way about my life a lot, like I'm asleep. I'm obviously living, I have a pulse, I breathe (with difficulty lately, compliments of bronchitis but I'm totes on the up!) And I'm reminded of life in moments when I'm brought to tears by life's joys and life's pains. And I'm reminded that I'm alive by how much I hurt or how much I dream or how much I desire or moved I can be by another human being. I think that proves life. If anything it proves the fragility of my own heart to be moved by this life and by the people in it, whether for good or bad. But if I had to describe my last semester in a word, I'd say I've been asleep. I've definitely had moments of wakefulness (is that a word?) this last semester. But so do most people throughout the night as they sleep. Just because you wake up some in the night while you're sleeping doesn't mean you're necessarily conscious or aware of what's happening around you. I'm not anyway. I've spent this last semester in a slumber. In a spiritual slumber. In a life slumber. I haven't been able to articulate what I've been experiencing well to myself and especially not to other people. It's no wonder, I've felt asleep. Life's just been dull to me. I know I experience life differently than a lot of people and my expectations for the way I want to experience the Lord may be a touch unrealistic this side of Heaven and given the state of my sinful heart. But when Jesus said He came to give life and life to the full and be that Life for me (John 10:10), I feel like He meant it. I just don't think God throws around words like I do or people do. I feel like He means what He says. And all that to say, if life to the full is a possibility, then why am I not living and walking in it? I can think of several reasons off the top of my head (namely that I have no clue what life to the full would look like practically other than different than what my life is right now) but I want it. If I can have life to the full, I want it. And if Jesus is willing and able to give it, then I want it. Why? Because it's how we were designed to live. We were designed to be alive, awake to life.

That doesn't mean a life without pain. Gosh, by no means. I was talking to a friend yesterday about the phrase "full of life." I love when people tell me I'm full of life. Not for for the same complimentary reasons I think they mean it. When I think life, I think of all of it. It's a dichotomous paradox: joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, love and pain, trials and triumphs, success and failure, etc., etc. And when someone says I'm full of life, I like to think I'm full of all those things, not just what we naturally think are the positives. Because life is about experiencing all those things, being awakened to the reality of the pains of life in order that we might appreciate the joys that God graces us with. And in all of that, glory be to God. Sadly, I have fallen asleep to that reality. That both sides of life are just as beautiful. Wise Spurgeon says "The worst trial is no trial at all." Yeah, I agree. Pain and hurt are not the worst thing that happen to you or me. Deadening your soul, numbing your heart and eventually hardening it and falling asleep to life, to the whispers of the Spirit and the Voice of the Divine is the most grievous thing I can think that can happen to me. And not that people don't have good reason to deaden their hearts and their souls. Without Jesus and the hope and love that He offers, that makes perfect sense. That's the best self-defense mechanism I've heard of. Life really can suck and pain really is real. But with Jesus, He says the opposite. He says "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you" (Ephesians 5:14). Quite the opposite. You aren't commanded to deaden yourself and protect yourself from the possibility of pain. Jesus says rather wake yourself to the reality of His love. I'm not exactly sure how that's going to play out practically over the course of my life as I see my heart get broken in little and big ways almost everyday. But I trust Him. He's God; I'm not.

[And as a significant sidenote, God doesn't love me less because I tend to fall asleep to Him and His Voice, figuratively and literally sometimes. My love for my family and friends doesn't decrease when they go to bed at night; they just maybe can't experience it fully because they're sleeping. If I say 'I love you' or write them a sweet note, it won't mean much to them until they're awake to experience it. But I love them nonetheless. So His call for me to rise isn't a call for me to wake up so He can love me; that part is non-negotiable. It's in His character that He loves me and that isn't going to change. I had to throw that in here because I'm not sure I'm convinced of this quite yet. I'm getting there. Well, no I'm not. His Spirit is getting me there.]

His call for me to wake up, for my soul to arise is for me to walk in His love, to experience the Love that He has for me. Love that promises Life. Life that will not fail, that will not leave. He won't leave me. He will make me alive. The truths that I know in my head He can awaken in my heart. I want that. Awaken, o my soul. Spirit in me, awaken. Jesus, awaken my eyes, my heart, my mind, and my soul to you.

Hmm. Guess that's what I felt like blogging about:)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

yahweh.

Take me, and pull me through.
Cause I can't move without You.

I won't leave you alone, You say.
It will be okay.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

he loves me.

I feel like I suck. I think I feel that way most days my life. Probably 9 times out of 10, I feel like I'm just not enough. Maybe even 9.9 times out of 10. Even the moments and the days when I feel like I've mostly gotten it right, when I can get through the day with mostly positive thoughts, loving the people in my life mostly well, doing the things in my life mostly right, feeling mostly good, having mostly good perspective, believing God cares about me more than He regrets having ever made me... even those days, even those moments (because honestly, it's rare for me to have whole days like that. I'm just thankful for the moments when I feel like I'm getting life right.) Even in those moments, I still am keenly aware of the fact that I'm still not enough. Because in all that, I've only done things mostly right. And even if I had done things completely right, I'd still be left to account for all the things I haven't done. Like call so and so back. Or balance my checkbook. Or love my literal next door neighbor like myself. Or honor my mother and father. Or give more of my time, money, energy and heart to the people God loves so dearly. Or go to the ends of the earth and proclaim the name of Jesus. In fact, I've done none of the above today (above goes all the way back to the beginning... today has not been a mostly get it right day). Instead I've spent my day writing a huge paper for school that I should I have been working on all semester but have put off until the day before it's due. I've barely left my house today. I'm still in my pj's and it's almost 8 at night. I feel like I suck more than usual today. And honestly, I think it's not just a feeling. I think it's true. In fact, I know it's true. Romans 3:23 tells me "that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Gosh, my life is a showcase for how I fall short of God's glory. Day by day, moment by moment. I miss the mark. And even when I get it "mostly right," it doesn't matter, because with God, He isn't about getting it mostly right. He's perfect. His standard for perfection is Himself. That normally debilitates me, being a perfectionist by nature and knowing that the standard for perfection is set not even by me but by Holiness and Perfection Himself. I'm paralyzed by my inability to even approach God or live life, until I realize one thing: He loves me. I hear that to the point that my heart frequently gets numb to it but occasionally it just clicks in a way that's almost magic. I think it's clicking now. God loves me. And love trumps all. Love isn't about earning; it's about being. It's about doing absolutely nothing yet still being chosen and adored and fought for and wanted. It isn't earned; it's given. It isn't deserved; in fact, it's undeserved because love isn't based on merit.

I don't get His love for me because I don't get Jesus. I just don't. I know I should but I don't. All I know is that somehow, Jesus is my Advocate, my Mediator-who is prefect and gets it not just mostly right but totally right. Not some days but all days. And because of that, I'm free to be me and be accepted and loved and safe in the knowledge that that love will not fade or waver. Even if I never get it right (it's not looking like I will, at least not anytime soon), Jesus has me covered. Literally. His death on the cross covered me and covers me now and will cover me forevermore. When God looks upon me, He looks with favor and adoration because He sees Jesus's record of perfection and getting it right. But somehow in that He still sees me and loves me, knowing all of me and my inherent suckiness. God loves me. And love trumps all. He not only loves me but His love is strong. Oh how I wish I believed that all the time and even now. And craved God's love more than the love, approval, and affirmation of any human being. But I know my heart. And I know it's deceitful. But I also know my God. And He's fought for my heart back over and over again and reminded me of this truth. So yeah, I suck. But I'm loved. I'm loved while I still suck. That's outstanding. God doesn't say He'll love me when I figure out how to get life right or when I live up to my potential or when I at least start getting it more right then I have been or quit being so freakin apathetic most of my days and do something. He says instead that I am precious and honored in His sight and that He loves me. That at the right moment, while I was still a sinner, He died for me. He chose me, predestined me to be His before I took my first breath. He isn't angry at me but has compassion on me because He remembers my frame and knows that I am but dust. He says He will love me freely, that He has called me by name, I am His. Most of my friends know that Paul is not my favorite Bible character. I just can't relate to him at all. He just seems so prideful to me rattling off all these great things He's done for the Lord and I just get irritated with his tone. But he's started to grow on me lately. I think we've got a lot more in common than I initially thought (pride included) but I love what he says in 1 Timothy 1:15-16: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." I am a showcase not of sin, but of God's infinite patience. To harp on how badly I screw up day to day, how sinful and deceitful my heart is, how much I'm prone to think negatively of myself, yeah all those things would be true, but all those things pale in comparison to what really should be reflecting from my life. I have a great God, one who loves me and fights on my behalf despite all of that. THAT is worth mentioning and harping on and getting excited over. I get it all backwards sometimes (let's be honest, most of the time). It's His story, not mine. I'm just an extra who keeps messing up her lines and trying to steal the show, but it's not my story and it's not my show to steal. For some crazy reason, the main character has fallen in love with me. Yeah, He loves me. Weird. But it's still His story. I'm happy to be in it however He writes it.

As of right now, I have a pretty great memory. But I've noticed it's been fading as of late. Such a bummer. But such is life I guess. Anyway, I hope that one day, when my memory has faded completely, that I, like John Newton can say this, that...

My memory is nearly gone;
but I remember two things;
That I am a great sinner, and
that Christ is a great Saviour.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

wake up.

Jesus has redeemed me for today. Not for yesterday. Not for last year. Not for my past that I've already lived and that I've already messed up. He redeemed me for right now, this moment. I'm called to live today, not yesterday, not tomorrow. Wake up oh my soul.

Wake up, oh sleeper, rise and awake.
Heaven is calling, no time to waste.
Eyes on the skyline, watch for the Son
Over the hilltop His glory will come.

Wake up.

Wake from your slumber, see the display.
Glory and passion are calling your days.
Move to the rhythm, join in the song.
We're singing of freedom, and unfailing love.

Wake up.
Your life awaits.

Wake up
Leave your wasted days.

Wake up
Feel the rush of life.

Wake up
Open up your eyes, wake up.

I hear Your voice in the morning light.
You call my name, You're calling me to rise.
I stand in you, Here in your perfect love.
I lift my voice, Because the word is out to rise and wake up.

Wake up.

-Kristian Stanfill, Wake Up

Followers